Konkrete Situationen · about 10 min
Addressing Cyberbullying
Start calmly, ask the right questions, gather evidence, and take action together.
Connect → Understand → Protect → Set boundaries → Follow up
The CALM method (RUHIG)
R — Ruhe bewahren: Bevor du beginnst: kurz durchatmen, eigenes Handy weglegen, nicht im größten Ärger starten, wenn möglich einen ruhigen Ort wählen und genügend Zeit einplanen.
U — Unvoreingenommen zuhören: Nicht sofort bewerten. Nicht unterbrechen. Keine schnellen Schuldzuweisungen. Keine voreiligen Strafen ankündigen.
H — Herausfinden, was passiert ist: Nutze offene Fragen statt Verhör.
I — Im nächsten Schritt gemeinsam handeln: Sicherheit prüfen, Beweise sichern, blockieren und melden, Konten schützen, Schule oder Plattform einbeziehen, professionelle Hilfe holen — wenn nötig.
G — Gespräch später wieder aufnehmen: Ein Gespräch löst nicht immer alles. Vereinbart, wann ihr wieder sprecht, was bis dahin passiert, wer was übernimmt und woran ihr erkennt, ob weitere Hilfe nötig ist.
Goal of the conversation
The child should feel safe enough to share everything. The first goal is protection and understanding, not immediate punishment or confrontation.
Before you start
- a quiet place
- no siblings around
- enough time
- put your own phone away
- don't start in the middle of a big argument
A good opening
I can see that something is bothering you. You won't get in trouble. I want to understand what happened and help you.
You don't have to tell me everything right away. But we can work through this together.
Helpful questions
- What happened?
- How long has it been happening?
- Where is it happening?
- Who is involved?
- Are there any threats?
- Have any pictures been shared?
- Does it happen at school too?
- What have you done so far?
- What do you need the most right now?
What to watch for
- Fear of school
- Sleep problems
- Withdrawal
- Sudden deletion of apps or accounts
- Severe mood swings
- Physical complaints
- Threats
- Blackmail
- Shared intimate pictures
What to avoid
- Just ignore it.
- Why did you respond?
- Then you can't be online anymore.
- It's not that big of a deal.
- I'm calling your parents right now.
Typical reactions
The child says: 'It's nothing'
'Okay. I won't push you. I'm here if you want to talk. If you'd rather speak to someone else, we can find someone together.'
Concrete next steps
- Take screenshots
- Note down links and usernames
- Block accounts
- Report content
- Check passwords
- Involve the school if classmates are involved
- Seek professional help for threats or blackmail
Follow up
- check in within 24–48 hours
- talk again after a week
- look for changes at school or on the platform
Printable conversation card
Addressing Cyberbullying
A good opening
You're not in trouble. I want to understand and help.
Helpful questions
- What happened?
- How long has this been going on?
- Who is involved?
- Are there any threats or pictures?
- What do you need right now?
What to avoid
- Blaming
- Taking away devices immediately
- Jumping to confrontations
Concrete next steps
- Gather evidence
- Block the person
- Report it
- Involve school/help
Need urgent help?
If someone is in immediate danger, call emergency services. For helplines:
Open help lines